C-C-Coldly analytic-ic-ic-al

If I haven’t already announced that I am embarking upon a further creative voyage (or writing another book, if you like) it’s unlike me:  I am not known for my secretive nature.

I may not have made it known, however, that I am being coldly analytical about the whole process this time.    My works and ramblings have been lurking around the foetid corridors of Kindle and creeping up the cold stone steps of Smashwords for a while now, whispering back to me in analytical tones concerning those occasional hints of success we call ‘sales’.   I have enough to work upon.  I can draw conclusions.

Conclusion 1.    Sci-Fi fans expect space ships and little green men.    Unless I am prepared to Imageinclude one or either of these, never write another Science Fiction book.   Interest in the U.S. is more pronounced than in UK, where it hangs only just above zero. 

Conclusion 2.    Post apocalypse is salable, in any form, providing I don’t proclaim it as Science Fiction.  (Post apocalyptic situations which engender little green men are deeply uninteresting to me).

Conclusion 3.     HMH  essential.   Handsome Male Hero must sweep Simpering Heroine from feet.  Use any character Barbara Cartland left over – and she left plenty.

Conclusion 4.     Simpering Heroine must ride a horse  (ending often involves SH forced into choice between HMH and horse).

Conclusion 5.     Literary works are OK (HMH scarred as child experiencing profound conflicts of belief and SH with issues of identity share thesis and fall into a tantric relationship) as long as they don’t end happily, or preferably don’t end.

Conclusion 6.    First person, present tense.  No, no, NO!

Conclusion 7.    Third person, past tense.    Yes, yes, YES!!!

ImageSo, wither ‘Boulter’s Green’  (working title for new book)?   30,000 words into the project I have altered it from first to third person; my little green men are only green because their growth has been stunted by eating too much cabbage, and no-one has dropped any bombs anywhere that i know of.   I have a fairly HMH, but here, I admit, my weaknesses are beginning to creep in.  My heroine doesn’t S very much, if at all.   And there may be a few too many teeth around……

I’ve got to have some fun, haven’t I?


Back from the clouds.

Just realised I haven’t updated my website for nearly a month now.  Not one, but two newly published works are missing from it.  I simply don’t seem to have the time!  So, tomorrow morning early I have to rectify:  ‘Dreamcake’ is just back from Kindle offerland and must be mentioned, while ‘Julian Parfitt Attempts World Domination’ is a piece of short fiction that is absolutely vital to me, because it is my first real attack on comedy.  Everyone tells me I should write comedy – well, now we’ll see if everyone is wrong!  It’s a 99¢ piece and less than10000 words, so no-one need suffer too expensively or for too long.

Which brings me round once again to my favourite hobbyhorse – genre.  I find myself constantly resisting the path to romantic fiction, despite the pile of evidence that this is my metier.  Faintly salacious, or, in ‘Dreamcake’s’ case, a straightforward romp from beginning to end, with a touch of suspense, a dramatic corner or two along the path.  ‘The Butterfly Man’ continues to be my best-selling book, and I really should make an effort to present it to publishers, but I find myself (completely illogically, because I enjoyed writing it) procrastinating and hoping events will take another course.  I can’t explain, probably shouldn’t try, but it would be so good if I could write comedy!